Oh yes, Peter Jackson's attempt wasn't the first time Hollywood tried - and, in most people's opinion, failed - to remake the classic 1933 monster movie which helped inspire the modern special effects blockbuster. Or at least helped to inspire a buttload of Japanese Godzilla films a few years down the line. No, before the Hobbit director decided the doomed love story between a woman and a giant ape needed to be as tediously long as his Tolkien adaptations, hotshot producer Dino De Laurentiis had already had the bright idea of revisiting the classic movie using modern filmmaking techniques and stars. What ensued was nothing short of an unmitigated disaster. Creatively, at least; the film was actually the seventh highest grossing of 1977, earning something like $90 million off of a budget of $23 million. Not that box office returns are any indication of quality. As a wise man once said, people like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people. Especially when they're voting with their wallets for a film which is a complete pile of garbage, replete with a decent cast doing what they can with an uninspired cast and a combination of special effects - sometimes a barely-moving animatronic ape, sometimes a guy in a monkey costume - which, as it happens, isn't a lot. One of those brave souls trying to bail water out of a quickly sinking ship and making out like everything is fine and dandy is Jeff Bridges in the starring role as Jack Prescott, a primate paleontologist leading the expedition to Skull Island (which in this version is funded by an oil company who thinks they may hit some rich supplies, because of course). He's swiftly shunted to the sidelines when Kong turns up and makes goo-goo eyes at Jessica Lange's Dwan, but during his time on screen he's, erm, a bit crap to be honest. Not that we reckon we'd do much better when faced with this piece of rubbish, but still. We expect better from you, Mr Bridges.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
