Joseph suffers the full force of MAX PAYNE
Finally, Obsessed With Film is allowed to review a movie that has already been on general release in the U.S. and reviewed in numerous press outlets in this country. You can read about the hilarious "embargo" put on us this week HERE. Is it because Obsessed With Film is known for it's "say what we like" attitude and our desire to see actual quality cinema when we get invited to see movies for free and don't just geek out because we saved £6 on a cinema ticket? Here's Joseph's review... As a cinephile, I am aware of the seasons of the cinema - the biggest and noisiest action movies get released to the eager masses over the hot and tantalizing days of summertime, whilst the pseudo-intellectual Oscar films get released in the chilly, solitary nights of winter. Trying to throw one last glossy action film my way in the wake of the London Film Festival? If your name isnt Bond, Im pretty sure youve missed the high-speed boat. But here it is, the MAX PAYNE film based on the video game that nobody has cared about for around five years. Dont even get me going on this whole video game turned film malarkey that Hollywood seems to think is a sure-fire way to bring in the dough. Theyre a bad idea to begin with, and never really pan out. Seriously, what have we had RESIDENT EVIL, HITMAN, LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER and BLOODRAYNE, the whole genre went tits up after SUPER MARIO BROTHERS. Every single attempt has been a dud, without exception. MAX PAYNE promised to be different enlisting Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg and the terrific comic actress Mila Kunis raised expectations. MAX PAYNE, sadly, is nothing more than a glossy, brainless shoot em up action film. The plot is the exhausted formula of the vigilante cop, out to avenge the death of his family. The opposition consists of scary tattooed Vin Diesel types, a pharmaceutical company, the Russians, and the US military. Theres a drug that people take which makes them see images from bad death metal album covers, which makes them really angry and want to kill Marky Mark. Thats kind of all I gathered, and I really tried to keep up (awake). I dont really know what Mila Kunis is doing hereshes apparently some sort of Russian mobster badass sidekick, but Mila is far too sweet a girl to pull off such a hard character. The script, written by Beau Thorne (dude, really?), a recent Austin grad, is a humourless disaster. Such a moody bastard as MAX PAYNE surely could warrant a few jokes, but the audience is left to cringe at the adolescent male fantasy on the screen without any respite. With the action genre enjoying a renaissance in recent years Bourne, Bauer, Bond, Tarantino, et al the standards really ought to be higher for all serious Hollywood productions of this magnitude. MAX PAYNE is a lazy and uncreative waste of time that completely ignores the talents of two interesting actors in favour of trying desperately to look like SIN CITY or THE MATRIX without directly copying either film, but the recipe served up is far too bland to register even a note of pleasure. This film seems suited for one demographic angry adolescent boys. And if youre 15, arent much bothered by violence against women and listen to whatever shite metal bands are on the charts these days, this might just be the film for you. The rest of us will march on to the much more promising films on release these days.