JUMPER
It's taken over a month before one of my writers could be convinced to see the first big post-STAR WARS movie from Hayden Christensen. Oliver braves it out to the theatre but there was never much hope for this one.
Doug Liman Written by: David Goyer, Jim Ulhs, Simon KinbergBased on the novel by Steven Gould Starring: Hayden Christensen, Jamie Bell, Samuel L. Jackson, Rachel Bilson, Diane Lane, Michael Rooker, Max Thieriot Distributed by: 20th Century Fox & New Regency Productions Film was released on February 14th, 2008 Review by Oliver Pfeiffer
rating: 1
Its official: Hayden Christensen has about as much screen presence and charisma as a plank of plywood. If you thought his feeble and browed groans in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith were the unfortunate result of an emotionally regarded director than wait until you see him get grumpy or angry or woe a girl as the titular globetrotting guy in Jumper. Obviously Christensens agent is signing him up for anything he can get his bemused actor into for fear of what happened to poor old Star Wars actor Mark Hamill. But the problem there is Hamill was a decent actor, who utterly convinced as Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy and was equally impressive in his other notable screen appearance in Samuel Fullers epic war movie The Big Red One. Now we have Christensen, a weak ex-soap siren getting star billing in both this lame excuse for an action hero flick and the - arguably more promising - forthcoming clinical thriller Awake. You could blame director Doug Liman, who helmed the first and by far the weakest entry in The Bourne Identity series and directed the detestable crime comedy caper Mr & Mrs Smith. But I prefer to target the Christensen for sheer acting incompetence. Jumper follows the wondrous extremes of a genetically abnormal, shy child called David Rice, who finds he can effortlessly teleport himself around the world at will by simply concentrating on an ideal location. He at first uses his gift as a means to get out of a life and death situation and escape his loathsome alcoholic father but then uses it for profitable gain by breaking into a bank and teleporting the money back to a hotel room. Skip a few years down the line and he has his own luxurious top floor New York apartment and literally spends his days either bed-hoping or travelling to vast and exotic locations. But soon the forces of Samuel L Jacksons badass jumper wrangler Roland is hot on his arse, because you know There are always consequences, to possessing such a gift. And thats pretty much the entire narrative clutch of this pointless, one-note tiresome gimmick ridden actioner. Theres never any attempt to justify or explain why Rice has such a super ability that lets him avoid trotting around town like the rest of us, nor does the character even question his own unique abilities himself. But then again hes such a selfish, egotistical bore that you wonder why even a girl would find him interesting in the first place, (you see he doesnt like to reveal his superpowers to them). But there is a girl. His former childhood sweetheart Millie (a thankless role for gorgeous former O.C star Rachel Bilson), who just happens to be single when Rice jumps her off her feet (lame humour intended as theres little attempt here) and whisks her off to her lifelong dream destination in Rome. There Rice stumbles upon another self-pegged jumper, Griffin (a cockneyfied Jamie Bell, bringing a welcome touch of zest), who is a little less optimistic than his colleague. You see badass Sam Jackson is a religious fanatic, a paladin who like his fellow paladins have grave consequences for the likes of them ungodly jumpers, and if he homes in on your wormhole he can permanently tame your jumping ass or those loved ones connected to you. So naturally Millie is under threat and therefore Rice decides he has to leave her to protect her. But a source back home has revealed Rices childhood residence, and before long Rices father is unconscious and Millie is once again under threat And this is pretty much how Jumper progresses, leaping from one narrative consequence to the next with little thought toward narrative coherence or indeed little thought toward the audiences own threatening nausea. I was left feeling rather queasy after an hour of all this fast jump cutting, over running shots and dizzy boomerang happy camerawork. It doesnt help that the material is so singular and shoddy that you seriously begin to ponder the health of the actors involved in this repetitive theme park ride. While there are some nifty CGI sequences involving teleported double-decker buses, a high powered car chase right out of Bourne and a scrap in the pyramids, Jumper serves its nondescript purpose as a dumb, (but not really that fun) humourless Hollywood pratfall that should be long-jumped to the cinematic cemetery.