Mystery Science Theater 3000: 10 Worst Movies They Riffed


For ten years, Mystery Science Theater 3000 gave us the worst movies ever made, and proceeded to riff the living daylights out of them. In doing this, they made these movies bearable to watch, and frequently even made watching these movies an enjoyable experience. However, some movies were simply so bad that no matter how high quality the riffing, the movie just plain hurt. This article will review those, despite the agony it will bring to my brain, having to remember these movies...

10. The Final Sacrifice (1990)

final sacrificeSummary: This amazing turkey from Canada chronicles the journey of a young boy named Troy McGregor, who begins investigating the death of his father 7 years earlier. Eventually he uncovers a map to a lost city, and somehow that very day a bloodthirsty cult winds up on his front porch. "I know you have the map Troy! I want it!" As Troy attempts to escape the cult he jumps in the bed of a passing truck. After the escape is successful, he meets the driver. His name? Rowsdower. Zap Rowsdower. Together they search for the truth behind the death of Troy's father, the secret of the lost city, and where to find a tank of gas. Why It Stinks: The movie was made by a student named Tjardus Greidanus, and used low-quality cameras he borrowed from his school. The soundtrack is compiled of probably three different pieces that keep repeating throughout the film. Oh, and did I mention the thing about the cult killing Troy's dad looking for a map, and then seven years later they come knocking on his son's door the moment he finds the map? Sample:Best Riff: "I made you a trail mix outta rat droppings and hair!"
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Armed with a laptop, a Pepsi, and a swivel chair, J.D. sets out to uncover the deepest secrets of the film world. Or, ya know, just write random movie-related lists. Either way....