Playing Hunter, Inadequate Special Editions And Just One Last Question...

First off, my apologies for the radio silence recently- I have become somewhat of a Hunter S Thompson wannabe, and decided that the best approach to journalism is one liberally peppered with sordid antics and debauchery doused in alcohol. Apparently this doesnt go down so well with the powers that be, and my wrists are well and trully slapped, so Im going to be uber-professional and not let myself or anyone else down. Plus I'm never drinking again thanks to this hangover. As if by magic, today is another double whammy, thanks to the technical mishap last week that prematurely killed the website, and because of the poor releases that week not really warranting a late write up on their own. So here goes... 20th July Releases I'd call this a pretty weak week if I was feeling particularly harsh, which I am. It is perhaps fairer to consider this week as the lull before Watchmen hits the market next week- though the way that has been handled in marketing terms looks to be a fucking joke in comparison to the heavy-handed assault that was the pre-cinematic campaign. And for anyone who hasnt seen the covers yet- be prepared to be thoroughly underwhelmed! Anyway, more of that in next week's column, for now rejoice in the knowledge that Dallas Season 11 has finally hit the shelves... The Secret of Moonacre Apart from the Harry Potter franchise and perhaps the Spiderwick Chronicles (I'm sure the emo-vamp-wannabes out there would lump Twilight in there as well), children's book adaptations aimed at late pre-teen and early teen audiences havent faired very well recently. Dark Is Rising, The Golden Compass, Ink Heart and even to a lesser extent The Waterhorse failed to inspire anyone, and unfortunately The Secret of Moonacre falls squarely onto the same heap. For a film ostensibly concerned with creating a world of magic and fantasy, The Secret of Moonacre fails on all accounts to furnish its narrative with anything like enough enchantment, and comes off rather more boring than any kids fantasy movie should ever aspire to. The child lead Dakota Blue Richards- who sounds more like a Dulux colour sample than an actual real life human being- has the rather unhappy distinction of having starred (and flopped) in not one but two shitty adaptations (having been upstaged by a polar bear in The Golden Compass). The Haunting in Conneticut Heavily cliched "based on a true story" horror flicks are ten a penny, and as disposable as the term implies. Add an over-abundance of special effects to any stock ghost story and you come out with The Haunting in Conneticut. It has its scary moments- and the special feature true story documentary is actually pretty good- but there isnt enough originality in there to strangle the feeling that it's all been done and said before. And the film-makers need to realise that throwing special effects at a movie does not mean it is any better than its simple generic siblings. Cadillac Records Another musical biopic for one of the most reasured musical movements in American popular history. Adrien Brody stars as Leonard Chess, boss of Chess Records, alongside a curiously low-key feeling all-star cast headed by Jeffrey Wright as Muddy Waters and Beyonce Knowles as troubled genius Etta James, and featuring bit parts by Mos Def, Cedric the Entertainer and Columbus Short (due to appear in surely the most needless Hollywood remake ever- a James Marsden led rerun of the 2007 Brit comedy Death at a Funeral!). The problem is that Cadillac Records tries to be a Forrest Gump style romp through history, shoehorning in as many of the major Chess achievements in its woefully inadequate running time- at the considerable expense of characterisation and empathy. Brody and Wright are fairly successful in their roles- particularly Wright, and Knowles is impressive as James, but it isnt enough, and the film feels somewhat like a careless amalgam of historical facts with a severe lack of soul. HushA genuinely creepy, claustrophobic British horror (how long it is since Ive been able to proclaim that truthfully). For something shot on less than a shoestring, it's an impressive achievement and for a first time director as well. Well I never. Mumbai Calling TV Series (UK) An ITV comedy. I'll just let that digest for a moment. Seems like an oxymoron doesnt it? Apart from perhaps Benidorm, the channel has crawled on its underachieving arse, scrabbling for a slice of the sit-com sterling with shoddy offerings like the embarrassing, and thorough chastisable Martin Freeman led Hardware. Hardly a difficult comparison for Mumbai Calling to have to come up against. It's a shame then that it's pretty terrible. I dont know what has happened to Sanjeev Bhaskar since Goodness Gracious Me dazzled everyone with its humorous ethnic-based japery back in the days when that sort of thing was terribly radical, but the man has become a mockery. The Kumars at Number 42 had its moments, but, like Goodness Gracious Me was too reliant on destructive stereotypes that were supposedly playing on our innate, institutionalised ideas about ethnicity and race but which merely made the otherness of its cast seem grotesque and further removed. Some elements were perfectly observed (the infamous "Going For An English" segment- though even that was marred by sloppy performances by actors quite obviously taking the opportunity to revel in the validated racism of it), but there were faint, unpallatable whisps of Carry On about it that I could never shake. Mumbai Calling is a different animal entirely- being a far more conventional sit-com format playing on the familiarity of the Outsourcing boom that saw many call-centres relocating to India (something Insurance companies now questionably use in their adverts to suggest they are more Brit-friendly: as if the constant reiteration of UK based call centres were anything other than a welcoming mat for stoically bigotted white skin-heads). You sense there's an attempt to capture the essence of The Office in the observationalist comedy- some of the calls are probably mongrelised versions of ones that have really happened- but there just isnt enough of a hook for the series to really grasp onto a fanbase. Also AvailableLadies of Letters, Cosmos, John From Cincinatti Season 1, Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates, Dallas Season 11, Michael Jackson: History- The King of Pop, Michael Jackson- A Life, Free Fall.New To BluRayA big week for the high definition format, though some seem slightly obligatory- The Pianist being a notable exception- I cant wait to see the sound transfer on that one- I dont know how much pleasure or worth there is in seeing Jean Claude Van Damme pretend to be American hero Guile in super definition is probably an issue for serious debate...Switchblade Romance, The Pianist, 9 Songs, Hellraiser, Into The Wild, Brick, Pay Check, The Kite Runner, Make It Happen, The Grifters, Captivity, Elephant, Disturbia, Street Fighter.27th July Releases And so, onto this week- the stand-out being of course Watchmen in its various inadequate guises, but there are others outside of that big player that I wouldnt hesitate to recommend you point your eyes at. Watchmen In my honest and humble opinion, the comic book adaptation event of the past decade (if not ever) is as good a feature as you'll see this year, provided you can ignore the somewhat needless posturing that is more evident with repeated viewings, but the Extras available are attrocious. Zack Snyder's magnificent film is made into a piss-poor release by the fact that the single disc doesnt include a single sodding Extra, the double disc is hardly any better, with a small selection of Extras that just dont cut it. The Amazon excusive Archie special edition looks a good prestige buy, but where is the British release of the high-prestige bundle release, including Under The Hood and Tales of the Black Freighter, as well as the Directors Cut of the film? I would happily fork out for it, and it infuriates me that the British market is being overlooked (especially when Alan Moore is bloody English!). Pull your fucking fingers out and get it released now- why we should have to wait is anyone's guess. But to all of the Americans reading this go out and buy it if you havent done so already! Columbo Series 10, Vol 2 Thanks in part to a furious repeating cycle on British television, Columbo has taken its place alongside Diagnosis Murder and Murder She Wrote as the staple ingredients of the unemployed and the unemployable's daily diet of day-time television. It seems that the lazy generation simply cant get enough of that wonderful scowling little man. In this CSI governed era, as flashy technique and camera angles take the place of genuine detective work and ingenuity (and even dare I say it, proper characterisation- say what you want about Horatio or them other ones, they'll never have the unbridled appeal of the originals from the 70s and 80s heyday), it is difficult to imagine that anything like Columbo will ever hit the screens again. The closest we had recently was Monk, but he was arguably merely a gateway detective to the other more gimmicky (but not unentertaining) figures like Dexter, and could never match up for the sheer experience of waiting for Columbo to mumble those infamous revellatory words. Admittedly, that was often the only appeal of certain episodes- familiarity breeding comfort and not contempt at least in these circumstances. But it isnt just the comfort that grips me- Columbo was well ahead of its time, bucking the trend of its fellows and corrupting the usually impeccable moral universe other examples of the genre usually preserved for its audience. In presenting the murderers to us in the opening sequence, Columbo took away that refuge from which we would traditionally guess along with the detective- but with Columbo we are in a position of knowledgeable privilege, and the pleasure is purely in finding out how Columbo will catch his prey. Beautiful stuff. Duplicity On the strength of his past two films, I am deliriously happy that Clive Owen failed in his quest to be Bond. Duplicity isnt as dull as The International, and there are welcome moments of witty and clever dialogue, but Julia Roberts is a shadow of her former self in terms of ability, and Clive Owen is not the type of actor you should ever hang your hopes on when it comes to being effortlessly charming. Intolerable Cruelty did it a few years ago, with Catherine Zeta Jones and George Clooney far better suited to the character dynamic than Owen and Roberts could ever be together. Oh, and it has more flashbacks than any recent episode of Family Guy could even shoe-horn in. Monsters Inc BLURAY Finally! I am a massive Pixar fan, and count the fact that I was able to see Up at Cannes as a particular highlight of my flirtation with proper film journalism, so to see Monsters Inc finally hit the high-definition format (swiftly to be followed by Finding Nemo) is a limitless joy. Toy Story had the characters, and Wall-E the heart, but I can never look beyond Monsters Inc when it comes to pure enjoyment- the story is perfect, and the animation was of unprecedented quality even for the animation kings. The Passengers We arent talking an old school Hitchcockian thriller here, but this Hathaway/Wilson vehicle is actually rather good. While it is essentially geared towards the revelation of a major plot twist that some might feel cheated by, and its tone changes drastically throughout, seemingly hopping genres for a few scenes before returning to its original Shyamalan-esque manifesto, I enjoyed it a lot more than many of similar ilk. I have a lot of time for Patrick Wilson and Anne Hathaway as actors, so allowing them the responsibility of carrying the movie seems to be the key to my enjoyment, as both are on fine form, and just about ensure that the flaws mentioned above become no more than a secondary concern. Bottle Shock The unfortunate thing about this Alan Rickman led comedy is the name, which immediately and unwittingly put me in mind of that awful moment on Big Brother when Kinga decided that sticking wine bottles up oneself is appropriate conduct on mass-watched television. Aside for that, it's an enjoyable experience even despite the fact that it very obviously sets out to be a "feel-good" movie- Rickman is at his accerbic best, self-parodying and thoroughly stealing the show as a British wine-snob. If Sideways is the cultural pinnacle of the wine-comedy, a playful, rewarding Cabernet Sauvignon, and Blood and Wine has the Tramp's Select award, then Bottle Shock is somewhere in the middle- a dependable, solid Chardonnay with every flavour exactly as you'd hope and expect. Diminished Capacity The best title for a Matthew Broderick film ever. Oh, for the days when Broderick was a precocious perpetual teen, still able to convince that with a little growing up he could so easily step into the shoes of Tom Hanks as the Everyman hero that noone has a bad word to say about him. Ferris Bueller's Day Off seems eons away from this latest offering- hell it's even a million miles away from Godzilla- and I can only think it's a shame that Broderick never really followed up the promise with the delivery. Also Available (Now With Added Reviewy Goodness)Kill Kill Faster Faster (so-bad-its-awful), Kylie Minogue- Kylie Live x2008 BLURAY (camp-as-a-party-ring), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (endless), The Lion Man Series 3 (hopefully edible), Stargate SG-1: Children of The Gods (forgettable), CSI Miami Season 6 Part 2 (predictably cool), Gilmore Girls Season 4 (infuriatin) , Moonwalking: The True Story of Michael Jackson (spurious), Embodiment of Evil (good fun), Pretty Little Devils (Duff in every sense), Alone In The Dark 2 (needless tripe). And the Prize for best film release of the week... The Fluffer, with the frankly outrageously funny tagline Love Is Hard.