Ranking EVERY James Bond Henchman From Worst To Best

66. Bert Saxby (Diamonds Are Forever, 1971)

Tee Hee James Bond
United Artists

A poorly chosen casino manager-cum-enforcer, Saxby defects from the services of entrepreneur Willard Whyte to those of Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

Saxby’s mundane duties range from working the telephones and cameras in Whyte’s casino to delivering diamonds to laboratories throughout the convoluted plot. He is finally called to real action when instructed by Blofeld to assassinate Whyte - and is promptly shot by CIA agents during his half-assed attempt. Quite why Saxby was given the task at all is unclear; it may be a case of having spectacularly exaggerated his own abilities during his henchman job application.

He’s part of a retinue of mostly unimpressive stooges employed by the SPECTRE head in the film - and with henchmen like this, it’s little wonder Blofeld’s scheme peters out so dully. You get what you pay for, after all, and judging by Saxby’s lacklustre performance, Blofeld blew most of the mission funds on his shiny satellite weapon.

If Saxby is remembered at all, it’s for Willard Whyte’s “Tell him he’s fired!” gag that comes in the wake of his death.

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Chest thumping James Bond and Haruki Murakami fanatic living in China. Once had a fever dream about riding a rowboat with Davos Seaworth. He hasn't updated this section since Game of Thrones was cool, and boy does it show.