Ranking EVERY James Bond Henchman From Worst To Best

Wondering who on earth this guy is? Few could blame you. For the most part, A View to a Kill wasn't exactly blessed with spectacular henchmen - as the two prior appearances on this list can attest.

Surely the product of many seconds in the writers' room, Scarpine is rather brilliantly named for his character's prominent cheek scar à la Donald Pleasence as Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He's also a total nincompoop, à la Charles Gray as Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

No, that's completely unfair to Charles Gray. Scarpine doesn't keep any grand aspirations of holding the world at ransom, after all. He doesn't really keep any aspirations at all, beyond hoping that Christopher Walken's Max Zorin might notice him.

As Zorin's nasally-voiced "head of security", Scarpine probably thinks he's hit the jackpot after inexplicably being chosen to accompany the evil genius on a victory airship flight celebrating the imminent success of his nefarious scheme.

In fact, the celebration goes off with more of a bang than Scarpine bargained for - he's last seen comically juggling a stick of dynamite back and forth with another lame henchman instead of chucking it out of the nearest window. You can guess what happens next. Whatever Scarpine thought he was signing up for, that surely wasn't it.

Nonetheless, it's the price he pays for being a totally unmemorable baddie.