So, Absolutely Everything Is Wrong With Die Hard 6

A prequel. Without Bruce Willis? No thanks.

To Die Hard used to mean to be resilient and unkillable: a terrier backed into a corner unwilling to give up despite the obvious lack of hope. It was a meaning built on the broad shoulders and bloodied feet of John McClane, the anti-terrorist's anti-terrorist, and for three and a bit movies, it was something you'd definitely pay to see in the cinema. Now though, Die Hard has entirely different connotations. It's more like the kicking leg of an ancient, stinking old monster being dragged unwillingly to the grave. Where Hard once meant heroically stubborn, it now means disgracefully. Which is precisely what is happening with the franchise, now that a sixth movie is in the offing. Despite the fact that A Good Day To Die Hard was an atrocity that basically relegated McClane to the edge of his own franchise, Fox are keen to make another one (thanks mostly to the $300m global box office haul). And horribly, they want to make a prequel, set in 1979, which would remove Bruce Willis from the equation (other than in a book-ending beefed up cameo). So that's two big strikes (well, three if you count the film existing in the first place), and you can add to that the fact that Len Wiseman is directing. Despite the fact that he proved on the last film that he's entirely incapable. But at least the prequel means no McClane progeny can come along and stink the place up. The only other salvageable thought is that they could cast someone like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who has previous playing a young Bruce Willis, and borrow the effects techniques from Looper. And they might return McClane to the wise-cracking, comic character he was in the first three movies, rather than the Jason Statham clone he's become since. Because that's likely to happen isn't it? Instead Wiseman will probably actually cast Statham, turn it into a lone cop action movie with lashings of 'splosions and the kind of dialogue a t-shirt slogan writer would reject. Are you excited for Die Hard 6? No, of course you're not, but let's all moan together in the comments...
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