Sony Close To $1 Million Purchase Of PAN Begins

Oscar Wilde once wrote that an ethical sympathy was an unpardonable mannerism of style in artist. In Hollywood, however, it seems that art is an unpardonable distraction from the pursuit of money. The crushing depressiveness of endless PR €œleaks€ and rumours concerning the re-hashes, prequels, re-imaginings and 3D CGI massacre€™s has anyone of remotely elevated sensibilities yearning for an hermetic and ascetical existence. Few boundaries of taste, standards or sentiment are free from capitalism's brutish transgressions and, yet, there are certain acts of barbarism- primarily concerning the few unspoiled memories of one€™s youth- that still retain the power to gall. The latest of these proposed crimes is nothing other than a prequel to Disney€™s classic version of Peter Pan, simply entitled Pan (formerly 'Pan Begins') which sees Captain Hook and Peter Pan as brothers- yes, really. The project was first revealed last week and now according to Heat Vision, Sony are close to securing the rights ahead of potential competitors for the sum of $1m. Sony apparently undeterred by similarly absurd projects of this nature having cost them a lot of money in the past, no less than the notoriously inept Hook with Dustin Hoffman. Despite being so notionally offensive, the project fronted by producer Joe Roth- fresh from having embarrassed himself with Alice in Wonderland- and supplemented by writer Billy Ray (Breach) has Channing Tatum set to star. We sincerely hope he won't be the boy who never grew up... until he did and turned out to be 30 years old... and instead he'll play Captain Hook. No other details about the forthcoming project have been released either on or off the record, but the fashion for trampling on the childhoods of millions appears to be continuing unabated.

Ben Szwediuk hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.