Star Wars: 10 Things We Want From The New Trilogy

7. Apt Casting

SW5 I wouldn€™t go so far as to say that a better cast (and by €˜better€™ I mean more suited to the task at hand) could have redeemed Trilogy II, but it certainly would have helped. The only character I felt was actually from the Star Wars universe was Qui-Gon Jinn. The old Master was beautifully realised by Liam Neeson, who seemed the only actor capable of embodying his role. Hayden Christensen is an awful, insipid actor, and excruciating to watch in any scenes which require him to portray a sense of duty, arrogance, petulant rage, romantic awkwardness, insubordination€”anything more than swordsmanship, essentially. He€™s quite good at that. Other than getting his arm chopped off. Ewan MacGregor is a competent but generally lazy actor who prefers mugging for the camera to getting into any risky emotional territory. His approximation of a young Alec Guinness was commendable, but didn€™t ring true as a young Obi-Wan, smacking too much of a live-action rendition of an alternative universe comic book character. There€™s simply nothing likeable about Kenobi; no substance; no sense that he has anywhere near the fortitude to become a lynchpin of the galaxy€™s salvation. He€™s more smarmy school prefect than Jedi Master, making it inconceivable that he€™ll mature into the sombre hermit on Tatooine. Natalie Portman is a gifted actress who will push herself to extraordinary lengths (Heat / Black Swan) if the role demands it. The problem is that such a diminutive, subtle woman becomes twee and insignificant standing in vast CGI halls, delivering painfully mawkish lines, and looks plain silly in femme-trooper armour firing a gun bigger than herself. I€™ll leave it there, and with the admission that I don€™t place all the blame on the actors for their performances. It must be difficult to wake up at 5am with a head full of terrible lines, spend hours in make-up, then get stuck on a cold sound stage with bright lime walls, and after being mumbled to by George Lucas, give a gripping performance while standing beside a guy in a wall-matching bodysuit with rubber reference ears stuck on his head. But aside from there being personality types and acting styles far better suited to the genre, it€™s worth considering that Trilogy I mostly consisted of small sets and big personalities. The problem with the scope afforded to filmmakers by contemporary technology is that actors are often lost amidst the sound and fury. So, J.J. beware: if we wanted to watch a bunch of soulless automatons strut and fret their hour upon the stage, we€™d watch a Bieber concert on YouTube. But we don€™t want that. We want Star Wars. And if we don€™t get it € Well, you€™ve seen what a plague of Beliebers can do. Imagine an army of vengeful Gen-Xers in the prime of their lives, storming Hollywood to fight for the honour of their childhood fantasies € Just have a think about it, Jeffrey. That€™s all I€™m asking. Take ... some time ... to PONDER.
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Contributor

Can tell the difference between Jack and Vanilla Coke and Vanilla Jack and regular Coke. That is to say, I'm a writer.