Steven Spielberg & Will Smith remaking OLDBOY

What can you say? We all know it ain't going to work. I hate to dismiss a big Hollywood project from this early a stage but I will eat a live octopus if this movie ends up being anything but a disaster.

Variety carry the news this morning that the biggest movie star on the planet, Will Smith, is to work with the legendary Steven Spielberg for the very first time on what is likely to be a July 4th Hollywood Blockbuster. Right on! That gets you excited huh? And you know, usually I would be too... hoping for maybe a new MINORITY REPORT with Will Smith (I, ROBOT, I AM LEGEND) in the lead.

Think again...

They are remaking the disturbing, the frightening, the absolute one movie that I can guarantee will leave you with the God damn shakes and that's Chan-wook Park's 2003 Korean thriller OLDBOY. Already the remake is doomed. There ain't no way in anyone's imagination that this material should be seen with a wide multiplex release on a July 4th weekend. Just no way. And if you water it down to secure that kind of release, then what's the point? You are stripping away what makes the original such an effective and unforgettable viewing experience.

The pair are in "early discussions" with Dreamworks (who are trying to secure remake rights from Mandate who have so far failed to get the project off the ground) with Universal lined up to distribute. Spielberg is on the lookout for a writer. Over the last few years Spielberg and Smith have been desperate to work together and they came close early this year on THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 only to see the project fall apart because of the writers strike. I can't imagine anyone who seen the original OLDBOY will think this is a good idea.

Matt Holmes is the co-founder of What Culture, formerly known as Obsessed With Film. He has been blogging about pop culture and entertainment since 2006 and has written over 10,000 articles.