TEETH

Matt here, this review is being used as both our DVD Review and as a Theatrical Review as the film is opening on limited release in the U.K. next month.

Written & Directed by: Mitchell Lichtenstein Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais, Hale Appelman, Lenny von Dohlen,Ashely Springer, Distributed by Roadside Attractions Available at Amazon for $19.99 RIGHT NOW. Film is released in the U.K. on June 20th 2008. Review by Ray DeRousse FILM:

rating: 3 stars

DVD:

rating: 2.5 stars

The phenomenon known as vagina dentata is fortunately only a myth, albeit a very old and widespread one. The idea that the Crazy Hole could have a set of chompers is enough to make my skin crawl; I mean, it's bad enough when it has a nasty case of halitosis. Fresh to DVD is the film destined to become the FATAL ATTRACTION of vagina dentata movies. I cannot believe I just wrote that. THE FILM Young Dawn (JESS WEIXLER) is the virginal leader of her high school's chastity club, giving slightly believable speeches about the glories of abstinence to her fellow classmates. Despite being roundly mocked by her hedonistic schoolmates, she is admired and desired by her burgeoning boyfriend Ryan (ASHLEY SPRINGER). He's not the only one, however. Her stepbrother Brad (JOHN HENSLEY) also has the hots for her, despite a vaguely-remembered fingering incident when they were children that revealed Dawn's awful secret. It seems she has a set of teeth inside her vagina, and they have a fairly nasty temper. First of all, what a concept. This is the kind of movie idea that Hollywood producers would suck off a dead ape to find. However, writer/director MITCHELL LICHTENSTEIN has more on his mind than simply showcasing a catchy idea. The film is hilarious and unnerving, but it also treads carefully and thoughtfully on the blossoming of teenaged sexuality. Dawn is rightfully scared and confused about what has happened to her body, and the film allows ample time to let her discover little truths about herself and her newfound powers. The film plays out like a masterful mix of THE EVIL DEAD, HEATHERS, and DONNIE DARKO. Some of this comes from the insightful script by Lichtenstein, which deftly juggles some truly bizarre characters with several terrific lines of dialogue. Lichtenstein makes the wise choice to let his camera linger into the corners of conversations, allowing the script to work its magic. The cast of young people are, for the most part, excellent. Weixler is magnificent as the confused Dawn, providing much more depth to the character's pain than might be expected. During several of the more gruesome encounters, Weixler projects believeable amounts of self-horror and disgust, which add layers of subtext to an already potent script. Springer's Ryan, although eventually a creep, reveals his desires carefully and self-consciously. The only character who feels a bit overdone is Hensley's disgusting half-brother Brad; all tattoos, piercings, and libido, Hensley seems a little over-the-top to pull off the machinations of the last third of the movie. Of course, we don't watch a movie about vagina dentata in order to savor fine plotting and character development. With the uncomfortable factor built-in, we can sit back and enjoy several laugh-out-loud bits of satire and nasty severed penises. From the opening shots of the film, silently depicting nuclear power plants that tower over suburbia and cause the mutation in Dawn's vagina, we know we are in good, schlocky hands. The film does not disappoint in this regard. The film takes jabs at conventional teen sex films, adult dramas, and ridiculous horror film conventions with glee. Over the top of this pastiche is a marvelous score by ROBERT MILLER that is at turns playful and unnerving. It's hard to recommend a movie about a toothy vagina. But then again, it's hard not to. EXTRAS Not a lot of extras here. Lichtenstein makes an appearance on the director's commentary. We also have a pretty decent behind the scenes documentary that also examines the mythology behind this mysterious affliction. OVERALL If you like movies like HEATHERS or THE EVIL DEAD, then you definitely need to check this out. It's not really a horror film in the true sense of the word, but it's also a smart and funny movie in addition to being a little gross. But if you're John Bobbitt, then you might want to stay away.