THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

Elizabeth: The Golden Age last year, only barely surviving because of the fantastic and powerful performance yet again from Cate Blanchett - I can't say I was particularly looking forward to watching another tudor melodrama play out the same tired old themes of lust and greed in the 15th century despite the additions of the lovely Natalie Portman and especially my darling Scarlett Johansson. Though in truth I shouldn't have worried about this movie being overly dramatic. The Other Boleyn Girl is too weak of a film to really get into and enjoy but also it's not silly, camp or sexy enough to be entertaining. It's like on the complete opposite end of the dramatic scale of the Elizabeth movie. It's so dull, so without style, so clumsily acted and directed, so vacant that I honestly believed I was watching one of those David Starkey historical reenactments. You know the one's I mean, with the really hammy acting from faceless names who play out the material so mediocre and without emotion, for the historian to then come out and tell us what the characters were feeling with the mundane signature score playing in the background because the actors just weren't showing it. That's essentially what The Other Boleyn Girl is. Such a by the book adaptation that it's difficult to really take much away from the film that's worth anything. Directed by 40 year old British t.v. director Justin Chadwick as his first theatrical film, The Other Boleyn Girl is a film without much merit. It never flows, never feels coherent. Chadwick is not content on staying with characters or getting close to them, he just plods his way through the story like a guy working 9 to 5 who wants to get home as quickly as he can because he doesn't enjoy his work. And it's a real shame because there was a real story here that deserved better. Written by Peter Morgan, one of the best writers of this kind of "non-fiction told in a fictional way" (The Queen, The Last King of Scotland), it's the tale of the two Boleyn sisters who at one time came the object of affection for the complex and notorious womanizing King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). You have Mary (Scarlett Johansson), the married girl who just wants to live a quiet life in the countryside with her new husband but is forced into spending time with the King and soon falls for his charm and his abilities as a lover gets pregnant, despite the King already being married to his first wife, Queen Katherine of Aragon (Ana Torrent), who by the time this film is set is in getting old and whiny. Then there's Anne, jealous, spiteful overly ambitious and desperate to be Queen despite knowing that the King has fallen for his sister. She plays the dangerous seducing man-eating game of toying with Henry to get his lust and affection after wrapping him round his little finger, she gets her wishes... including Henry turning his back on the Pope and creating the Church of England, just so he can divorce and she can become Queen - as we are reminded changing the face of England forever. The first half of the film drearily and without any real sexy scenes that these historical drama's usually treat us with (see The Tudors for that I guess), we follow the two sisters as they swap bed-sides with the King, who seemingly does nothing put ponder which he wants to bed that night. There's no running the country in this film, no sense of the real legend of the King, it's a wonder we didn't get invaded by the French and over ran. Whilst Henry thinks over who he wants to bed, the girls weak father Sir. Thomas Boleyn (Mark Rylance) and the Blackadder sniffling uncle Duke of Norfolk (David Morrissey, who just doesn't suit this period of history) don't really care which one the King ends up with. They will both see them setup for life in the King's court whomever he choses, though their mother (Kristin Scott Thomas) plays the moral voice of reasoning, questioning their daughters close involvement and dangerous games with the King. In not so subtle references, several times we have meet being chopped into pieces. Yes, everyone knows where this film is headed and the black clouds that hang over the film are actually literal, giving the film a murky and mundane feel. Like a bad holiday to Blackpool or something. Eric Bana is sorely mis-cast as the mammoth figure that was Henry VIII. I've always held the opinion that Russell Crowe would have made a terrific Henry VIII in a movie someday. A guy of charm, real stature and someone who would terrify but also seduce you with every breathe he speaks, Bana is almost a light version of him. The Other Boleyn Girl is not bad enough to say it's crap... it's just so dull. I often think being dull is the worse crime a film can commit, hence the extremely low score I've given the movie. At least Elizabeth: The Golden Age tried, no matter how misguided that film was.

rating: 1.5