The first trailer for Paul W.S. Anderson's proposed reinvigoration of The Three Musketeers has been released today at Apple. So, what does it look like? Well, remember when you were first greeted with the news that Sherlock Holmes was to be rebooted as a viable action franchise, full of 'splosions 'n' shit, with Robert Downey Jr. donning the detective's signature cape and pipe? Remember how you felt slightly skeptical yet intrigued at the same time? Well watching the trailer for The Three Musketeers is kind of like that, if you replace that feeling of intrigue with the overwhelming urge to bludgeon yourself with the corner of the Oxford Dictionary, in the hopes that in doing so none of the important stuff in your li'l think-box falls out upon witnessing this exercise in masturbatory nonsense. It's got swords. It's got cannons. It's got fire. It's got improbably breasted women. I'm pretty sure I saw a ninja getting involved at some point, too. We're men, right? Well at least I think I am. Last time I checked I was, anyway. So this means that my posterior is guaranteed to be seated inside my local Cineworld come the films October 14th release, eating popcorn and guffawing along with my fellow men, before becoming so overwhelmed by the whole experience that I devolve into a primal state and start throwing faecal matter at the walls of the auditorium. That's what Paul W.S. Anderson hopes, anyway. The film stars Logan Lerman, Milla Jovovich, Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelson, Juno Temple, Orlando Bloom and Christoph Waltz and is to be released in 3D.
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