These Movie Plot Twists SUCK!

The Dark Knight Rises is such an infuriating film on so many levels, mainly because everyone the world over just wanted this film to be better than it actually was. Don't get me wrong it's still an enjoyable Nolan flick, but seems forever unsure about itself, likely due to the monolithic shadow of The Dark Knight that was cast over the whole affair.

How do you top what many see as one of the greatest superhero movies ever made? Well if you're Dark Knight Rises the answer seems to be, you don't.

The third act of this film is a complete and utter joke when you consider all the moving parts, having the barely intelligible Bane relegated to being just another henchman in the grand scheme of things, and Talia al Ghul chewing so much scenery that even Swamp Thing had a bite taken out of him, but the biggest bomb of the piece revolves around the literal bomb and it's cheesier than a !*$% fromagerie closer.

If we're being blunt, Bruce Wayne and Batman should have both died on that final flight, sacrificing himself for Gotham and allowing Robin to have taken up the mantle, that would have been a fitting, poetic end, especially seeing as this Batman tale was being capped off indefinitely after this installment. However, Nolan doled us up a piece of romanticized slop stinky it looked like Clayfaces droppings.

Alfred stares across the table of a restaurant he mentioned once in a pretty disposable conversation and boom there he is, one of the wealthiest men in the world with zero disguise or attempt to hide his identity, sitting across from him at the exact right time. Did Bruce go to that cafe each and every day in the hopes of spotting his butler? Pretty harsh to make him wait all this time right? also good to see you escape a bomb without injury using that last piece of plot armor.

Seriously the more I think about it the fizzier my blood gets.