9) The Children
"Did you ever hear of contraception?" A weekend in an isolated cottage in the snow with your extended family - what could be nicer? Actually, when they're Mandarin speaking, MMR jab eschewing, homeschool-curious middle class parents, you'd be forgiven for feeling a sudden urge to run for your life. It seems a strange virus is spreading through the youngsters, but how can anyone tell? They spend a lot of time shrieking annoyingly even before they turn psychotic. This movie plays it too straight to be pure satire, but there is a delicious sense of irony in the fact that nobody is paying any attention to the cosseted children, so their first forays into weirdness are ignored as their parents brightly suggest a bribe of gold stars if they go out to play. Their methods for arranging accidents borrow some elements from fellow spooky kid film The Other, and should make you think twice next time you watch a toddler zooming a toy car off the tabletop. But who could blame a child who seems to be surrounded by unfortunate accidents?