I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall of the board room when this one was decided. There have been numerous conspiracy theories concerning Shakespeare's legitimacy as a writer spanning decades now, explained thusly by the Oxford Society website;
There should be masses of contemporary documents about the life of the worlds greatest writer. His manuscripts, his letters, the letters sent to him, the letters about him between others, and printed stories and pamphlets about him. But there are none of these things. There are reviews and comments on the plays and poems. There are a few legal documents (as he) got involved in several minor court cases and he was sought for non-payment of taxes. But there are no documents which show that he had any connection with the plays or poems.
Interesting enough? Seems only right that Hollywood should snap this controversial tale up and turn it into Ye Olde Social Network. "But which directer should we attach to such an intriguing premise?" the Sony big-wigs ponder, with their slicked back hair, bloated stomachs and Cuban cigars, looking every inch of the ridiculous visual metaphor that pops up in my head whenever I think of anyone vaguely associated with corporate America. "I know..." interjects one of the younger, better-looking yet exponentially more hateable fat-cats "...
Roland Emmerich." You may remember Rolo as the director of such 'end of the world' classics as
2012, The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla and
Independence Day. The only positive comment I have to make about his work is that he has somehow managed to sell the same movie to the same audience at least four times in the past two decades. So why exactly is he on board for this 14th century, Elizabethan era drama? Well, it has cannons in it. Cannons can cause some damage, right? Not as much damage as dinosaurs, tornadoes, earthquakes or alien invasions, but still; they could blow
something up. Like a market stall. A market stall selling fruit 'n' veg. Yeah, that'd be awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXE_iovifmk His next movie, Anonymous supposedly explores whether
the 17th Earl of Oxford
(Rhys Ifans) wrote the classic plays of William Shakespeare (
Rafe Spall) though the movie actually doesn't look like it delves much into historical conspiracy than a bunch of explosions.
The trailer also has Radiohead's "Everything in it's Right Place" playing in the background which is somewhat ironic because it doesn't feel in the right place but at least you're listening to some decent music whilst your intelligence is being molested. Or you could just go out and buy Kid A. The movie will open September 30th.