10 Hilarious Witcher 3 Quests You Totally Missed

When Witcher 3 is the best comedy in gaming history.

Witcher 3
CD Projekt RED

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt sees eponymous monster hunter Geralt embark on an epic quest to find his missing daughter Ciri and save her - and subsequently the world - from an interdimensional race of elves known as The Wild Hunt.

Throughout the dozens of hours that players will spend on Ciri’s trail, they’ll travel across an expansive map, meet a large cast of memorable characters, and become caught up in their own compelling plot threads.

This critically acclaimed RPG is a serious game at times. Alongside the urgency of the main questline, The Witcher 3 likewise shines a lot on heavy themes surrounding war, prejudice, and the all-round monstrous nature of humanity.

Though the richness of the writing results in some of the most memorable and affective gaming moments in recent memory, even a witcher needs to take a step back from the severity of their situation.

When developers CD Projekt RED aren’t confronting players with hard-hitting moral dilemmas, they’re proving that their prowess for comedy is as keen as their flare for the dramatic.

The Witcher 3 is a very funny game at times which boasts a selection of side-splitting side quests spanning the farcical to the surreal.

Beware of minor spoilers ahead.

10. Shock Therapy

Witcher 3
CD Projekt Red

At a cave by Gedyneith in Aard Skellig, Geralt will encounter a druid who asks for assistance. He’ll inform you that a fellow druid, Egill, has suddenly and mysteriously gone mute. With none of their spells or potions doing the trick, he enlists the help of a witcher to scare Egill since eliciting strong emotions are said to be a cure for whatever ailment he has.

By the time players arrive at this point in the game, they’ll be well accustomed with receiving strange requests, so nothing seems out of the ordinary. And with the promise of a rare Gwent card as payment, the job is impossible to refuse.

What follows is Geralt playing cruel pranks on the druid to annoy him as much as possible. Extinguishing the fire after he lights it, setting some angry wasps on him, and rattling pots and pans when he falls asleep will do the trick here. The druid will speak again but will be deeply upset with Geralt.

It turns out that the druid was undergoing a vow of silence, which you were just tricked into breaking for a lark.

At least now guilty players have a new Gwent card.

Contributor
Contributor

Glasgow-based cinephile who earned a Masters degree in film studies to spend their time writing about cinema, video games, and horror.