3. Super Mario Bros.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtMZKYnLg5c No words can explain how bad this film was as well as how it had nothing to do with the games at all. Mario has a very simple story, though why anyone would want to convert it into a movie is a mystery. The first issue I have is why on earth they used Daisy rather than Peach, considering that Princess Daisy wasn't even in the original Super Mario Bros. It's not even a simple mistake - she's a pretty important character in the game seeing as she's the one Mario's trying to save with Daisy not making an appearance until four years after the initial release of the first game. I'm not saying she's not an important character in the Mario universe, but for a movie based on the game, you have to use Peach. My next issue with the movie that conflicts with the game is the setting. I know back in 1993 the technology to create this magical world called the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't around nor would it have been financially viable, but the Mario world I first remember was a bright world with blue skies and a sort of jovial feel to it. Instead the movie's set in a dark and murky New York City with robotic dinosaurs, sexual menace and more chaps talking in the shadows than a 1930s gangster reunion. Let's ignore the plot of the movie completely and take a few seconds to look at Dinohattan, a city that's supposed to represent the Mushroom Kingdom and Dinosaur Land. Now it's been a while since I pulled out my old consoles and gave Mario a whirl, but I remember Dinosaur Land being remarkably like the rest of the Upper Mario World. We've still got the blue sky, the white clouds and a happy Mario jumping around gleefully, what we're given in the film though seems to be the complete opposite. In fact, when I watched the film a year or so ago I was reminded more of Sin City and Soviet Russia than the Mushroom Kingdom. Dinohattan seems to be a city inhabited by humans and human-dinosaur hybrids, the only inhabited city on a heavy polluted earth with the rest of the planet being a harsh desert called... the Koopahari Desert. I'd go on and on with everything that made the movie different to the game, but in truth, I'm glad it was nothing like the game. I enjoyed Super Mario as well as all the spin-off games like Mario Kart racing. Just like the rest of the world, I'd like to forget there ever was a movie based on the game and let it settle back into the murky depths that are inhabited by Uwe Boll's films.