Role Playing Games (RPGs)
5. Fable Is A Pack Of Lies
Peter Molyneux is a pathological liar, strong words but not mine. You know you have a bit of a reputation for not being completely honest when perfect strangers feel comfortable applying the term pathological to the general description. Molyneux turned empty boasting as a way to make money into an art form. The Fable series that he is most famous for came with so many hefty promises that by the third installment, the game wasnt complete without a few blatant lies about what the game would do. Were not talking about certain issues that the game neglected or didnt have time for; especially with the consideration that the games were equally famous for taking forever to be perfected (ol Pete apparently thinks perfect is equal to totally incomplete), no these are full on features that were supposed to revolutionize RPGs. The fact that most readers are still struggling to understand why Im calling Fable an RPG is all the proof I need of Lionhead Studios abject failure. All Fable redefined was the meaning of overstatement, the first game promised co-op play, a massive amount of quests to really explore the alignment system missing from video game RPGs (which ironically is still basically missing from Fable), amongst other wild features that probably would have made Fable the greatest game ever. Fable isnt the greatest game ever, just thought Id make that clear. At best Fable 1 was The Legend of Zelda with delusions of grandeur, and yes Im comparing a next gen 3D game to the original NES version (hint: Zelda was better, and I hated f#%kin Zelda). But the lies didnt stop there; if anything the amount and quality of the lies increased more than the quality of the games (feel like playing the same game 3 times over the course of years and paying for each new installment?) themselves. By the time Fable 3 came around it became clear that Molyneux apparently lived out of phase with reality entirely. He promised that the game would have a series of play based morphs. The player would morph based on class, behavior and weapon choice, none of which ever happened. Sure the weapons and character model morphed, but not in any way that the player could actually control or even influence outside of very basic settings (using a ranged fighter versus a melee fighter produced a difference, a magic user looked no different). Even after the promise of Co-Op play in the very first game, a system jump and two sequels later the Co-Op system was terrible and far behind anything other games were doing, not quite groundbreaking there are we? Molyneux receives all the credit for being full of s#!t because the lies continued upon leaving Fable and making a steaming pile of a game called Black & White, which may or may not have seen the light of day but definitely sucked one way or the other. The game had a similar promise of real ethical choices that effected the world, but totally didnt. Well, at least hes consistent. The best news is that he now works for Nintendo. (I hate Nintendo for abandoning me as a gamer, thought that needed clearing up)
Shock Value: When someone does something despicable, and then turns a tremendous profit, this tends to encourage others to do the same until someone eventually ends up in jail. Since it doesnt look like game developers are facing a stint in pound me in the arse prison