4. Any Train Song (Various)
Almost every one of Train's song lyrics tow the line between "nonsense" and "plain horrible." Sometimes it's too hard to tell the difference. While the lyrics at least rest safely within the confines of the English language, they are so utterly stupid that sometimes we doubt our own ears. This level of badness is hard for the average human mind to grasp, but somehow Train gets away with these crimes against humanity and continues to churn out hit after hit. What makes a hit, you ask? Apparently, lyrics such as:
"Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains I knew I wouldn't forget you ... I'm so obsessed My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest." - "Hey Soul Sister" (2009) "She'll think I'm Superman Not super minivan How could you leave on Yom Kippur? ... She was caught in a mudslide Eaten by a lion Got run over by a crappy purple Scion." - "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" (2012) "This is not a drive by Just a shy guy looking for a two ply Hefty bag to hold my love." - "Drive By" (2012)
It may be hard to believe, but these are indeed real lyrics, and not the output data from a random word generator. Also, does this band get paid for product placements, or are they just that horrible? Even the ones that circumvent blatant brand-name use are unforgivable. If these songs are discovered by some far-off, future generation, we are going to lose all credibility.