10 Totally Cheesy Songs (That Are Still Awesome)

5. Egyptian Lover - I Cry (Night After Night)

Musicians, when trying to convey the lament of heartbreak, tend to croon or sigh or otherwise sing in soft or hoarse tones.

In 'I Cry (Night After Night)', Egyptian Lover actually whimpers - "Hmmph!" - to express just how sad he is. He also just wails imperceptibly, and it's a deeply unusual technique, but nonetheless so raw, with such little regard for his exterior resolve, that it captures perfectly the essence of heartbreak. He isn't holding his arms aloft, hoisting a boombox in mid-air in the direction of his crush; he is folding them together, pouting, as the guitars wail in harmony with his whining voice.

'I Cry' is, nonetheless, a proto-incel jam - the sort of song you could readily imagine Ross Geller singing when fronting Way, No Way, only really, really good. The chintzy synthesisers flirt awkwardly with the exotic, eastern melodies in a display of sophisticated thematic craftsmanship. The guitar squall is so over-the-top that you can just see the poor prick flailing himself around his bedsit. Quintessentially 1980s in its arrangement and earnestness, the lyrics are dreadful in the best way, too.

"Night after night I go for a walk / Looking at the stars in the sky"

It's no wonder he couldn't get a shag.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!