10 Worst Hard Rock Lyrics Of All Time

Heavy Riffs with a helping of Nonsense.

Puddle Of Mudd Terrible Lyrics
Sirius XM

In the grand scheme of rock music, lyrics don't tend to be all that important. No matter how much you may claim to be the next Bob Dylan, chances are that you aren't going to rewrite the history of heavy music with just a few strokes of your pen. Given the low bar that you have to clear though, you always get those few bands that don't even seem to be trying.

Compared to the usual tropes of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, these artists managed to go too far into weird territory and came through with some of the most confusing lyric sheets of all time. Then again, the low quality of lyrics is much more subjective than any other riff could hope to be. Sometimes it just comes down to the fact that the lyrics don't roll off the tongue really well. Other times, the string of words thrown together are so nonsensical that they end up taking away from what otherwise might be a halfway decent song.

For what amounts to placeholder words most of the time, it takes a special kind of bad to nullify the rest of the track. You might not have to say a lot in a rock song, but at least throw together something that's worth remembering for a change, eh?

10. Wango Tango - Ted Nugent

If there was ever a time for rock lyrics to not make sense, it was the '70s. After the '60s visions of psychedelia started to look more and more cynical as the years went on, the next generation made up for that by turning in lyric sheets that were as insipid as possible. It takes a special kind of negligence though to make something like Wango Tango into a thing.

Granted, it's not like Ted Nugent was known to be the most prolific lyricist of all time, considering most of his early work showed him playing off a completely different singer in Derek St. Holmes. When left to his own devices though, Wango Tango is one of the most inane songs about sex ever conceived. That's only speculation though, as most of the lines feel so disconnected from each other it's hard to even tell where Ted is even going half the time.

For all we know, this might not be about sex at all, instead just being about an honest-to-god tango taking place. If you dwell on these lyrics for too long, it's like feeling your brain melt, so it's probably best to just focus on the riffs rather than the lyrics. Much like the man himself, Wango Tango is proof that Ted Nugent is probably better suited to his guitar skills than actually opening his mouth.

Bad Lyric: My Baby She Can Dance All Night, My Baby Got No More Control, She Do the Wango Tango

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I'm just a junkie for all things media. Whether it's music, movies, TV, or just other reviews, I absolutely adore this stuff. But music was my first love, and I love having the opportunity to share it with you good people. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/timcoffman97