10 Worst Hard Rock Lyrics Of The ‘80s

Neon-flavored duds.

Dio Holy Diver
Marossreal name: Marek Krajcer / CC BY-SA (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)

Most of the rock world was meant to be larger than life in the '80s. Whereas the pop universe was getting into synthesizers and grand soundscapes, the subgenres of thrash, hair metal, and alternative were progressing by leaps and bounds, with every band reaching for more grandiose musical styles. Though the weight of these songs can't be denied, some of the lyrics may have benefited from going back to the drawing board.

Granted, most of the hard rock of the day seemed to be about the menacing riffs or the high-pitched singers, but when you have one line that stands out as particularly bad, you never really seem to forget it. A lot of these songs have stuck around because of how catchy they are, but fans end up remembering these lines for completely different reasons.

From talking about mythical beasts to gritty streets to rebelling against authority, these songs have a lot on their mind but don't necessarily have the lyrical prowess to carry it over into classic status. Lyrics may not have been the main draw in this stage of hard rock, but a lot of these songs deserved to be looked over a little more before being pressed to vinyl.

10. I Want Action - Poison

Poison often gets singled out as the moment where the hair metal bands got ridiculous. Rather than adding a bit of pop flair to their riffs, these guys always just reeked of a boy band that just so happened to have guitars in their hands. Though the band had some classics like “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” “I Want Action” comes off as painfully dated on further inspection.

There doesn’t seem to be anything too bad with most of the track, with the song being about a night on the town with your buddies. However, things start to get a lot more uncomfortable once you reach the end of the second verse. Looking to get into some sexual hijinx with groupies, Bret Michaels declares that (after some alcoholic courage) “if I can’t have her, I’ll take her and make her.”

Everything there is phonetically correct, but the way he is so adamant about getting some love at the end of the night falls more into the realm of sexually aggressive behaviour than a fun party animal. After a few more years of these kinds of tracks, the entire rock world saw a change of the guard with grunge’s arrival. Poison may have fallen victim to hair metal’s death, but even on their best day, they weren’t always bulletproof.

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