12 Festive Songs That Probably Won’t Make The Airwaves This Christmas

1. Sexy Santa - Steel Panther

While St Nick is traditionally portrayed as the jolly gift-giver with an unhealthy reliance on festive treats, this hidden stick of dynamite from the Steel Panther archives reimagines the Christmas kingpin in a completely different light.

Swapping mince pies and candy canes for a low carb diet and protein shakes, Santa’s shedding the pounds and doing the rounds in our number one alternate Christmas tune! Not one for the easily offended, but classic Steel Panther at their chauvinistic, !*$%-rock best; proving that Christmas music can be so much more than sleigh bells, choirs and cheese.

Although maybe it’s best to play this one after Grandma falls asleep in the armchair...

So there you have it; 12 tunes of Christmas that prove that Band Aid were right when they said “there’s a world outside your window”...although admittedly probably not quite in the same context that they had intended back in ‘84.

Don’t settle for Slade and Wizzard on repeat this year; give your Xmas a furious facelift with some face-melting substitutes that are guaranteed to jingle your bells this Christmastime.