5. That Festival Has A Terrible Line-up!
Maybe it does. Perhaps there isn't a single band on the bill who you'd happily watch. But should that be the case, know that it says precisely nothing about the relative merits of the festival in question and absolutely everything about you. It might send you into terrible spirals of existential dread to consider it, but you are part of a demographic a target market and the circle in which you're placed is determined by the bands you like. When an organiser fills a line-up, they're not trying to impress you. Rather, they're trying to cater for a particular demographic. In the unlikely scenario that not a single band on a line-up floats your boat, all that's being proven is that you're of an incongruous demographic. So if a V Festival punter is unimpressed by the Download line-up, who cares? They don't like metal, why would they
ever be impressed by the Download line-up? Similarly, you won't find many metal bands on the V bill, so it's no surprise at all that you won't find much enthusiasm for the V Festival amongst the Download crowd. It's utterly futile, then, to complain about the bills at festivals that
you wouldn't even dream of attending in the first place. But what if you are of the right demographic and the line-up still does nothing for you? The point, once more, is moot. So you don't like the headliners? So what? Go and explore. Go and see a band you might never have dreamed about seeing otherwise. Try and find something new. Expand your horizons. Or, if all else fails, sit around a campfire with your friends and get drunk. In future years, you might struggle to list the bands you
did watch, let alone the bands you didn't. Dedicate yourself to making the most of being outdoors, with your friends, in a crazy environment of hedonistic abandonment. You'll be cementing warming memories that will last a lifetime. Any complaints about the bands that are playing and the order in which they're playing will soon become irrelevant. In short: stop moaning, you're on holiday! Those who go to the Glastonbury Festival have no right at all to ever complain about the line-up. At any given time, over seven thousand interesting things are taking place at the Glastonbury Festival. Even if you go with the express intention of watching bands, with over 30 stages to choose from, are you
sure there's nothing to see? Any time spent scowling at the programme is time that could be better spent plunging headlong into the euphoric mayhem of Brigadoon. And if that doesn't sound like your idea of fun, well. It pains me to say it, but perhaps music festivals just aren't really your scene at all? And if that's the case, then what the hell are you complaining about?