3. Some Of The Crowd Can Be Dicks
There are dicks in walks of life. From the homeless to royalty, dicks are everywhere. Look around you. See a dick? I thought so. You didn't see a dick? You probably are the dick then. And in a piano bar a game of spot the dick is easy. I'll give you a clue; it's most of them. Ok, that may be exaggerating a tiny bit. Most people are in fact nice. But to me as the piano man, the only people I will remember at the end of the shift are those who give me crap, shout at me, spill their drink over me and my piano and who get their penises out at me to show me how much more of a man they are than me (that actually happened once) At a piano bar, it's common for the crowd to request a song. And you would not believe how pissy people can get if I don't know a Michael McDonald B-Side. It's quite extraordinary how angry people can get over the mere fact that another fellow human being doesn't know how to play or sing The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. When I told a gentleman I didn't know that particular song, I kid you not, he took the lid of the keys and threw it down so it would break my fingers. Luckily I have the reflexes of a cat, due to years of simultaneously closing my browser and pulling my trousers up. Thank you 21st century! Needless to say the man in question was escorted off the premises but it still shook me up and made me realise that I should probably learn The Gambler.