JLS – Jukebox Review

They can clearly sing. They can clearly dance. They keep young girls happy. But frankly Jukebox isn’t worth spending money on.

rating: 1

Jukebox is the third album from X Factor runners-up JLS and if it has even a smidgen as much success as their previous two, it€™ll probably go multi-platinum and win a bunch of awards. Having said that, is it fair to assume JLS can churn out any old rubbish and expect it to sell? Almost certainly. Have they churned out that very rubbish with Jukebox? Definitely. Perhaps I am not the target audience for JLS€™ management and I will stress this immediately. I am not a teenage girl. I€™m not going to go to one of their concerts and scream myself hoarse. And I don€™t have pictures and posters of Aston all over my wall€. Honest! But I am a music fan. I love listening to albums. Well, I used to€ Jukebox opens with club anthem She Makes Me Wanna (featuring Dev), which, if you have been on holidays this Summer, or if you have been to a club, listened to a radio or turned on the TV, you€™ve almost certainly heard it. While I€™m not even sure who or what €˜Dev€™ is, his (or her) influence on this track is hardly noticeable. It is a JLS-style song which we have heard many times before, so while it is not going to win Ivor Novellos, it does make me want to €œoh oh oh€ or whatever that means. Catchy for sure. Do You Feel What I Feel is a ballad with a dance beat behind it, a recurring nightmare on this album. I can€™t stand it. If they made it a ballad, perhaps a guitar and some candles, it would work. However, they€™ve thrown a €œdumph, dumph€ behind it. And it sounds like Steps. That€™s not a good thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBE-mVcPvKM Next up for the screaming girls is Teach Me How To Dance, whichsounds like a shoddy mix of the other two so far. Luckily, a robotic voice says €œIt€™s JLS€, which is fortunate as if it came on shuffle on my iPod, I€™d not have to check the screen. However, that€™s if it made it onto my iPod. Which it won€™t. It is catchier than Do You Feel What I Feel, but not as much as She Makes Me Wanna. Hit, miss and maybe so far. Finally, four tracks in and we have our ballad. Take A Chance On Me (alas, not the ABBA song) is the next single to be released, and credit where credit is due, it is my favourite so far. With a chorus that most people will sing out of tune, this song has much more credibility as the previous three, and is by far the strongest. Go Harder harks back to the previous Do You Feel€ but seems like a better version. Bit softer, bit catchier. Bit of advice too. It tells us to €œPut your hands in the air and leave them up there if you believe in love€. So that€™s how I do it. Thanks Aston. So Many Girls gives me a headache. It might as well be called €˜This song is about you, generic single teenage girl that thinks we are singing to you€™. Never mind the fact it is terrible. It€™s a mess of three or four totally different songs. Imagine a mash-up of the album so far. Not good. 3D opens with the line €œI wanna love in 3D€, which suggests poor JLS has only been loved in plain old 2D. Poor souls. The album seems to be slowly falling into generic boy band material. Though it does have my favourite line on the entire album €œI€™m gonna turn you on like a tv€. Does that include a remote control? I€™m not sure. They are like four Oscar Wildes. Almost. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyjdyjmKkvg Take You Down isn€™t great, in all fairness. It€™s got the funky, hands-clapping-in-the-club sort of thing, but it sounds the exact same as four or five songs so far. Forgettable at best. Innocence doesn€™t fair much better. It is just another version of Do You Feel€. It€™s as if I€™ve got the song on repeat. I don€™t. I had to double-check. That is not a good thing. Killed by Love is beyond clichéd at this point. It has nothing original going for it. It sounds much too similar to other songs on this album, never mind to other songs that have been released by other artists. Disappointing. Never Gonna Stop luckily reminds us once again €œIt€™s JLS€. Thanks guys. Perhaps, it would be more beneficial to take your name off these songs instead. They aren€™t great. Never Gonna Stop falls into the slower category. Once again, trying to distinguish between this and some of the other songs on the album becomes a trawl. At eleven songs so far, the album is massively over-stretched. And we€™ve still got one more to go. Hang tight. Shy of the Cool is, I€™m sure, a metaphor for the economy or a war or the rise in student fees. However, on the surface, it€™s a love song about something or other, someone having a tough time in love or society or something. I don€™t care anymore. Honestly, it has got €˜album filler€™ painted all over it. As do most of the other songs. This is supposed to be the dark, credible song to show a different side to the band. But with the word €œcrying€ being rhymed with €œlying€ and €œdying€ suggests the band has given up. Guess they are finally singing to me. To be honest, if you removed Take a Chance on Me from this album, and perhaps that one with Dev from last Summer, this is a really plain, unimaginative album that verges on dull. I like JLS and for them to come from X Factor runners-up and to achieve some of the sustained success the boys have had is worthy of some credibility. They can clearly sing. They can clearly dance. They keep young girls happy. But frankly Jukebox isn€™t worth spending money on. The album doesn€™t offer you anything new from JLS, and perhaps it is time for the boys to go in a different direction. Three albums in and JLS are spent. As am I. I need a hot flannel. JLS third album Jukebox is released today.

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