After striking up over 8 million views in 24 hours and thereby setting Vevo's 'views in a day' record, the Biebster clearly still has some pop staying power despite this song being a not completely convincing change of direction. A long time ago in a pop-galaxy far far away there was a boy on the cusp of leaving his teenage years behind forever. For years, he'd been a focal cultural figure amongst the various civilisations for his squeaky clean image and his blossoming romance with a budding pop starlet yet things had changed. He was fed up of being a child, no more Peter Pan times for him, so he joined forces with cool, hip-hop and R&B producers who he thought could make him badass enough to leave that childlike innocence behind. His name was Justin and, to the suprise of everyone, the transformation worked - he really did seem badass plus he could dance and sing in a really high-pitched voice. Score. 10 years later, the story repeated itself yet with different end results. Again, this boy was called Justin but unfortunately he did not end up looking badass despite his extreme efforts - he just looked disorientated and uncomfortable. One had the last name Timberlake, the other dubbed Bieber. Can you guess who is who in this saga? Well, give the Boyfriend video a spin and woah! Deja Vu alert. Didn't JT do all this back in 2002? The song Boyfriend, which isn't a coming out statement from ol' Biebz, is an attempt to adult up and advance the sound of Justin's career. No more floppy fringe, bowling alley dates and cries of '
Baby Baby Baby Nooooooooo' as he stalks some poor innocent girl - it's time for cars, bling and babes. At once the track sounds familiar and by familiar I mean I saw a documentary on whale sonar the other week. It was a thrill, believe me. Yes, the recurring hook definitely has a element of aquatic animal noise but I could live with that if it wasn't for three tiny little details: the baffling lyrics, the disjointed video and Bieber's overwhelmingly bad attempt at being a bad boy. First up, the lyrics are one huge series of conflictions. What's more ghetto and badass than '
chillin' by the fire whilst we're eatin' fondue'? I bet you'd catch Lil Wayne and Eminem relaxing with a great wad of swiss cheesey goodness. What's a better comparison to your swag-tastic self than '
I could be your Buzz Lightyear'? Drake could be your teddy bear, Snoop Dogg wants to be your snuggley-wuggley plush bunny rabbit. What's a better way to show how G you really are than spouting out the oh-so-cool '
SWAGGIE' at the end of a verse? Jeez louise, Justin is practically at Notorious B.I.G.'s level of dope with this scale of lyrical genius. Plus, I'm the Dalai Lama's monkey butler... Oh the joys of sarcasm. http://youtu.be/4GuqB1BQVr4 Next up, the video, which starts promisingly. The opening with all the icy gears, potentially hazardous water-on-speakers and swinging lightbulbs seems quite apt for the cold demeanour (whale) flirtation and as the video concept, I accept this would work quite well. Oh wait, he's just lulling me into a false sense of security only to turn around and go 'JUST KIDDING! I'm going to repeat the first 30 seconds all over again just for the Lolz'. So this time we're treated to the same verse but with the much more stylistic concept of... him sat in a car on a rooftop. Woop-de-flipping-doo. The sad thing is despite all the publicity surrounding his return to the 'forefront of music' (or at least on a mass pre-teen hysteria level) the video is such a non-event. Nothing happens. We just get a few shots of him playing guitar (stop trying to make this serious, authentic musician thing happen Bieber, it is never going to happen), some girls looking pouty and lots of cars. Oh and he bops a little now and again in the name of (faux) SWAG. It's hardly worth calling a dance routine it's so lacklustre. Finally up (doesn't quite work that), Bieber himself. Let's be frank here, he isn't a bad boy and the fact he, or someone else, thinks he can play one is baffling. He doesn't seem very comfortable or sure of himself at any point of the video. The seduction bits are cringe because he comes across as if he's never been near a woman before in his life, let alone tried to woo her, and he's not really hitting any kind of ghetto cred because he's too pretty; he still looks younger than he is and the quiff is too polished. Part of the bad boy image is being a bit rough around the edges, a risk-taker, and I don't think he knows how to accomplish that yet or that he doesn't actually wants to commit fully to it (potentially in the light of alienating his pre-teen girl fanbase and the whole 'You're the father of my child!' fiasco). I'm going to be honest, I'm not a big fan of Justin Bieber but I did try to give him a break with this lead single considering it was his chance to reinvent himself. The problem is it's just a bit flat in every sense. It also doesn't help that Justin Timberlake did all of it - the dancing, the R&B sound, the women-baiting, the close-up confessionals, the falsetto - so much better and with more conviction ten years ago. Will Boyfriend still be listened to in ten years time? Unlikely. Both Bieber and Timberlake started out in the music industry young but I think the big difference is Bieber is trying to make the switch-over from child star to adult performer at the age of 18 after two previous albums whereas Timberlake released first solo single Like I Love You at 21. It's hard to take this seriously when everyone else at Bieber's rooftop party is clearly over the age limit for alcohol consumption... except him. Not that I think he should have stuck to Baby's level of hormonal pre-teen crush but it just feels a little too soon to be grinding hoochy mamas by your convertible. The song peaked respectably at number 2 but already, despite a video release, it's out of the top ten and just about stabilising at the lower end of the top 20 which isn't great for an album campaign opener. Now is decision time: commit fully to your new persona or water it right down in time for album number 4.