The Rolling Stones: Ranking The Albums Best To Worst

6. Emotional Rescue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ12mfT37BY Date Of Original Release: 1980 Key Tracks: Miss You, Emotional Rescue Known amongst fans as the "Stones Go Disco" album, this stinker features what is the all-time nadir of the Stones in the unbelievably awful track "Indian Girl" which plumbs new depths of clueless awfulness. Listening to Mick patronisingly intone "Little Indian Girl...where is your father?" in a pretentious drone will make you want to rip off your headphones. "Miss You" and "Emotional Rescue" aren't bad for what they are as late-to-the-party disco cash-ins, but this is the first time the Stones felt obligated to follow trends instead of create them, and it shows. Most of the tracks here are warmed-over outtakes from the Some Girls sessions, and most should have been left as such. The single track "Emotional Rescue" also sets a record for the most ludicrous Jagger vocal ever, his falsetto escalating into ridiculous histrionics on the chorus. Nice sleeve though, for whatever that's worth.

5. Satanic Majesties Request

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdUVn1OmQtc Date Of Original Release: 1967 Key Tracks: 2000 Man, She's A Rainbow, We Love You* Intended to be the Stones answer to the Beatles Sgt. Pepper, this instead was a colossal failure. The Beatles had songs. The Stones only had headfulls of acid and unlimited studio time, plus a lot of famous friends who wanted to hang out in the studio and party while they were recording (including two of the Beatles). It should have been obvious how it would turn out. Yes, the cover photo is amazing, especially if you have one of the 3D lenticular copies, but the bulk of this record is a pretentious, overbaked mess, except for the always amazing "She's A Rainbow" which is bright hippie pop, "2000 Man" and "2000 Light Years From Home". Footnote: "We Love You" is their best song from this period, but it's not on this record. Go figure. Ridiculous Trivia Bonus Factoid: The original title of this LP was "Cosmic Christmas". Yes, it IS a good thing they abandoned that title.