The Greatest Professional Wrestling Concept Album EVER: Track By Track
11. Foreign Object
Killer Lyrics: One of these days my legs will both snap like twigs / If you can't beat ’em make 'em bleed like pigs.
The track has a jazzy big band sound on a small scale without losing any of its vibrancy. The merry music stands in stark contrast to the descriptions of violent methods of cheating. Although, as fans who doesn’t love foreign objects and gore?
The narrator is a lower-mid-carder, who is trying to raise his stock via hardcore stunts. He risks serious injury to himself and his opponent despite the show being non-televised. The anger and violence of the protagonist increases as the song progresses, while acknowledging the frivolous side of sports entertainment, such as “strik[ing] funny poses” amongst the brutality.
Aside from the foreign object, the narrator sinks his teeth into his opponent’s scalp and takes “a nice big bite” - a reference to Freddie Blassie’s ‘The Vampire’ gimmick, which saw the wrestling legend inflict wounds with his purposely filed teeth.
The broken legs reference is likely an allusion to Greg Valentine, who broke Chief Wahoo McDaniel’s legs in 1977. Upon his debut for the then-WWWF a year later, he would turn this into his gimmick. Post-territory fans will be unable to think of leg injuries without recalling Sid Vicious, another possible source for the reference.