9. Diet Pills Have Terrible Side Effects. Also, They Suck.
Those of you who have turned to modern medicine to support your weight loss efforts, on top of becoming the King, or Queen, of Farts, are opening yourselves up to a whole host of other unpleasant side effects. Many drugs prescribed for weight loss over the years claim, very vaguely, to "boost your metabolism," while others claim to suppress your appetite. In reality they are stimulants that speed up your spinal cord, brain, and heart rate. In other words, they force your body to work harder (for no good reason) just to raise your basal metabolic rate and thus burn more calories a day. You know what else does that? Methamphetamines. Now, there is a whole class of difference (usually) between the meth you buy from Walter White and the diet pills advertised on late-night infomercials, but medically-condoned uppers have still led to multiple incidents of cardiac arrest and, albeit rarely, death (49 cases in the US between 1988 and 2003). Assuming you're one of the many people who take them and don't keel over from a heart attack, you're still opening yourself up to insomnia, killer headaches, and constipation. There are also diet pills that, instead of "boosting your metabolism" or suppressing your appetite, work to block the fat in the food you eat, like a magical food armor that keeps the calories in that chocolate cake from sticking to your already gelatinous thighs. The most famous of these is Alli, and it also famously makes you mess yourself if you inadvertently eat more than 15 grams of fat in a meal. The dieting community has given this unfortunate side effect the cute little name of "the Alli oops," which is very obviously an overly-twee way of describing young, healthy adults pooping themselves. Even with all of that, most diet pills are only marginally helpful at best. The pills that have the most evidence backing their effectiveness also have the most moderate results, something like an extra pound per month, and at the end of the day, you have to weight up whether that's that really worth the indignity.
After obtaining a BA in Philosophy and Creative Writing, Katherine spent two years and change teaching English in South Korea. Now she lives in Sweden and edits articles for Turkish science journals. When she isn't writing, editing, or working on her NaNo novel, Katherine enjoys video games, movies, and British television.
