10 Compelling Pieces Of Evidence That Prove The Illuminati Are Real

Jay-Z's controlling your mind, which is just one more problem...

We wouldn't normally advise you to go anywhere near a YouTube video's comment section, but humour us for a moment. Head over there and look up literally any pop video from the last five years. Bonus points if you go for something involving Rihanna or Beyonce. Amongst all the people exclaiming their undying love for the singers in question - or else the hipper-than-thou types exclaiming their undying distaste for this "manufactured" trash, you sheeple - you'll find something much, much stranger. Rants that go on for thousands of words, talking about the anti-Christ, the new world order, and a lot of stuff about pyramids. Wait, was has this got to do with that one Jay-Z and Kanye song about Paris? That, friends, is the work of the Illuminati. Or, rather, it's people pointing out the work of the Illuminati. A shadowy group of powerful world leaders, businessmen and celebrities, this cabal are apparently the ones who control everything that happens in modern society. Sure, everything seems to happen organically (people being elected, natural disasters, the recession), but in fact ever major event that's occurred in the world since the modern age has been down to these lot pulling the strings. At least, that's what the conspiracy theorists tell us. And since when have they ever been wrong, eh? Except, well, all the times they have been. Careful, though, because you dismiss claims of the Illuminati at your peril. Unlike some of the other more bonkers conspiracy theories we've heard in our time, there's actually a fair amount of proof that this New World Order (or at least something like it) really does exist. And it's not necessarily as anti-Semitic as some of these nutballs claim. Historical precedents, reliable witnesses, the existence of extraterrestrials...all of these play into our ten most compelling pieces of evidence that prove the Illuminati are real.
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Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/