2. Aliens
And if that doesn't convince you, we're just gonna go all in with the aliens theory. We've already provided you with some pretty compelling evidence that not only do extraterrestrials exist, but they've
almost certainly visited Earth before, and now we're going to explain exactly why they dropped by in the first place. And we're going to try and do it without sounding too much like David Icke, former sports presenter-turned-Second Messiah-turned-conspiracy theorist who claims all politicians and monarchies are actually seven-foot tall, shape shifting space lizards who feed on the blood of humans and are probably also paedophiles, because apparently being a seven-foot tall, shape shifting, bloodthirsty space lizard isn't enough to mark you as a monster in the eyes of David Icke. Slightly more convincing is the dovetailing of the New World Order conspiracy theories with existing ones to do with UFOs. You know the sort, Area 51 and Men In Black and government cover-ups. Why should the government be so interested in hiding their dealings with close encounters? It's something that you can't really answer, unless you maybe believe that aliens are in control of the world (or are else in cahoots with the ruling elite) and are slowly building to a full-scale invasion of Earth from the inside, taking control of all the major powers and then using this control to exert their will over humanity! To, er, work in acid mines or be eaten by them or just be evicted from our planet because they like the look of it, we suppose. Don't blame us, we voted for Kodos. Look, it's still better than reading the Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion and believing that the Illuminati is a Jewish conspiracy to rule the world.