10 Heartbreaking Moments When You Realise You're Too Old For Things

10. A Punctured Space Hopper

We all remember sports day in primary school. That one day a year when 'sports' were completely made up to instil a sense of teamwork into a class of hyperactive juniors. We had the egg and spoon race, the sack race, the wheelbarrow and three-legged race, and there was that one where you balanced a bean bag on your head and ran as fast as you could without it falling off. It didn't matter, these were our Olympics, and we all eyed gold in one event - the space hopper race. Fast-forward ten to fifteen years and your younger sibling is pleading with you to come outside and play with them. You're too cool for that, but mum has powers of persuasion (or intimidation) you cannot fathom, and you're sent out to play babysitter...again. The little one wants a space hopper race, already gallivanting across the garden while you mope off to find your old one. You dust off the toy, cast aside in the shed, its big googly eyes staring absently into your own, and you straddle behind its ears. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Splat. You lie flat on your back in the garden as the last whispers of air escape the gaping hole ripped in the side of the toy. Little sibling wins by a landslide. You may look at that space hopper in the same way, but it doesn't look at you as it used to. You're no longer four-foot tall and you're twice as heavy as you once were - if that thing could have screamed for help when you sat on it, it would have done.