10 Irritating Stereotypes You Meet In Every Office

2. The Evangelist

Also Known As: The Holy Warrior, The God Squad, The CrusaderIdentifying Traits: Just as The Hypochondriac wants to talk about nothing but her toe fungus, and The Pervert wants to talk about nothing but the sex dream he had about you last night, The Evangelist wants to make two things, and only two things, perfectly clear from the outset: 1) He's going to heaven, and 2) You're not. But the news isn't all bad, because The Evangelist is willing to help you get to paradise. All you have to do is adopt his lifestyle, his personal habits, his way of thinking, his wardrobe choices, and his taste in music and movies. Native Habitat: The Evangelist makes a big show of his faith. A Bible occupies a prominent position on his desk, and two portraits of Jesus Christ adorn his cubicle walls (helpful tip: don't even think about suggesting to him Jesus wasn't a white, English-speaking conservative). If you need to talk to him about some work-related matter, The Evangelist will first ask if you're still going to hell. Then he'll offer to share his "testimony" with you, and finally he'll invite you to come with him to church on Sunday. You will never get an answer to your work-related question, but you will be reminded at least three times that you're going to burn in the Lake of Fire for all eternity. Career Trajectory: The Evangelist doesn't concern himself with such things. The only promotion that really matters comes in the hereafter.