Janet comes home from work to find a beautifully iced chocolate sponge cake on the kitchen table. It reads "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JANET!" Janet's heart swells with love for Tom, who is clearly such a thoughtful boyfriend. Then she realises it's not their anniversary for another month. She looks up from the cake to see Tom standing in the kitchen doorway. "Tom, you know it's not today, right?" "Well Janet, I have news for you. One year from today will actually be the one year anniversary of our break up. Which is happening right now. SURPRISE!" Cue Janet throwing any kitchen utensils to hand at the cruel Tom. (Note: cake does not make a break up any less upsetting).
I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).
