10 New Year’s Resolutions There’s Absolutely No Point Making

by Chris Peet

1. Fall In Love

Ilovelamp Gif Aside from the obvious truth in the impossibility of knowing when you€™re going to find love, actually adding this as some sort of task for the year is vacuously dumb. Jotting it down on a glorified shopping list doesn€™t just take the romance out of it, it positively infects it with an STD. Who does this? Isn€™t doing this a bit desperate? Let€™s be honest, if you treat falling in love as a menial job you have to complete within a time-frame then you probably deserve to die alone and unloved in a squalid bedsit overrun with rats and poisonous insects. That€™s maybe a bit brutal, but, truthfully if you reduce love to a mere chore then you probably shouldn€™t hold much hope for finding it in the coming year. But, you know, keep your fingers crossed and everything; Happy New Year and all that€ When You€™ll Abandon It: you won€™t. It will abandon you, then find you when you least expect it. Ahhhh...
 
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Chris James Peet says hello. His interests include hoping for the best and sitting in chairs. He much prefers moaning to counting his blessings and suffers fools gladly. He also likes to look out of the window and check what's in the fridge but he hates standing up, dripping taps and reality.