2. Spend Less Time On Social Media
Such is the popularity of social media, and based on absolutely no research whatsoever, its predicted that the human race will evolve to have various social platforms beamed directly into their heads via a facial tick around an eyeball. This will eventually replace the soft squishy part inside of the skull that used to be the brain with pictures of people hugging, casual racism and bad grammar. Until this delightful dystopia becomes a realisation, early 21st century humans have to make do with standing next to a family member or friend, updating a status on their phone that announces this then watching as said family member or friend comments on that status. Then they stand back and hope a lot of people they barely know say they like them. As confusing as this may sound, it is the way of the world and even the most unpopular of idiots can see its appeal. So why are people adding this to their resolutions? Its obvious that Facebook and Twitter are impossibly addictive. Trying to cut back on them is about as likely as you pushing your aforementioned boss down the stairs. You want to, but you cant bring yourself to. But at least you can tweet about how fed up you are about that to all your adoring fans
When Youll Abandon It: youll forget you ever made this resolution.