10 New Year’s Resolutions There’s Absolutely No Point Making
8. Improve Your Diet
Standard. Everyone has contemplated this at some point. In fact you cant really consider eating anything without being terrorised into thinking youre somehow killing yourself with it. The ever-changing scientific research into what we trowel into our bodies has left the general public in a kind of nutritional limbo. No ordinary person really knows whats actually good and bad for them anymore. Which obviously begs the question of whats the point in caring? Mind, if youre the kind of idiot who thinks gorging on a kebab pizza the size of a coffee table then washing it down with a Diet Coke constitutes a step in the right direction, then you probably deserve to have searing chest pains at night. But by all means try to up your fruit and veg intake; try to drink whole litres of water every day without retching; do attempt to be one of those uninteresting people who checks the fat content on food labels when shopping. Just know that youll fail. Which is something you can add to next years resolutions: stop being a failure. Win win. Or fail fail, depending on which way you look at it. When Youll Abandon It: every other meal.
Chris James Peet says hello. His interests include hoping for the best and sitting in chairs. He much prefers moaning to counting his blessings and suffers fools gladly. He also likes to look out of the window and check what's in the fridge but he hates standing up, dripping taps and reality.
