10 New Year’s Resolutions There’s Absolutely No Point Making

9. Give Up Smoking

Of course, there are an innumerable amount of reasons for you to actually stop this disgustingly cool habit. Death probably being the most convincing one. And while a slow, agonising demise off the back of your 20-a-day tradition may appeal to you, despite what the movies say you absolutely won€™t leave a good looking corpse. Just a really yellow-stained, prematurely grey one. But try as you might, scribbling down €˜quit the tabs€™ on your 2015 to-do list will be about as worthwhile as you rolling up said list and smoking it. Plus you probably love lighting up and all the accompanying health quirks that it brings: who cares if you€™ve recently started to get unexplained head-rushes every time you stand up? As if it bothers you that there€™s sometimes a little rattling noise in the back of your throat each time you breathe in. So what if your teeth are looking more British than ever? You€™re addicted now, and no amount of capricious list making on New Year€™s Day is ever going to change the fact that you... are... doomed... When You€™ll Abandon It: every couple of weeks.
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Chris James Peet says hello. His interests include hoping for the best and sitting in chairs. He much prefers moaning to counting his blessings and suffers fools gladly. He also likes to look out of the window and check what's in the fridge but he hates standing up, dripping taps and reality.