10 Reasons Greek Mythology Is Messed Up

So Zeus was sleeping with every female he had a crush on. Basically he did his thing and Hera subsequently punished her “adversaries” in ways only a goddess could devise. But there was one whose adultery she never found out about: Europa.

She was a pretty young noble who strolled along the beach and was kidnapped by a magnificent white bull. Yes, it was Zeus. He took her to the island of Crete, where they didn’t waste their time. Shortly thereafter, Europa bore Minos.

Minos was raised in the same island of which he would be king. He indeed ruled so wisely he became one of the judges of the dead in the underworld after deceased, but like many good chairmen, he was part of a dark secret during his life: having inherited her mother’s predilection for beautiful bulls, he refused to sacrifice the white specimen Poseidon sent him as a gift from the sea and decided to keep it. Zeus’ brother wasn’t pleased with this decision, therefore he made Pasiphae, Minos’ wife, fall in love with the animal… and what follows is just as bizarre as you might imagine.

Pasiphae commissioned Daedalus, a notorious craftsman, to build a wooden cow with gorgeous legs where she could squeeze into. When the bull looked at the trap, it couldn’t help follow the impulses of its instinct. And the Minotaur came to the world.

Kind of an inverted Trojan horse…