10 Reasons Greek Mythology Is Messed Up

Equally noticeable was Aphrodite’s debauchery. She was after all the goddess of love and beauty, so it was just a matter of time before she gave herself over to divine pleasures with the splendid amount of hunks Zeus was providing and terrestrial squires he was ignoring.

Carrying the banner of free love, Aphrodite got involved in the conception of famous characters, sometimes propitiously (like Aeneas, the only survivor of the siege of Troy), sometimes curiously (thanks to Hermes, she begat Hermaphroditus, who had both male and female genitalia), and other times regrettably: with Dionysus she had a cursed-before-birth Priapus, who besides having an oversized, perpetual, but useless erection, was so unsightly and loathsome that he was expelled from Mount Olympus. And you have to have real merits to be thrown out from there, believe me.

Aphrodite even managed to seduce the grumpy god of war. But, like him, she was possessive (a ticklish feature considering her policy). Once this sentiment nagged her to go so far as to make Myrrha, daughter of King Cinyras, fall in love with her father and sleep with him when he was drunk. As soon as he regained consciousness and realized the terrible act committed, he angrily chased Myrrha to kill her, but Aphrodite transformed the incestuous daughter into a myrrh-tree. Deliverance or further punishment, it is unclear.

What happened next was that her bark gave birth to Adonis, who grew up so beautiful that Aphrodite didn’t resist the temptation (how could she?). Ares, in a fit of jealousy, took the form of a wild boar and slew the poor god.