10 Reasons It's Way Better To Be A Dog Dad

6. You Can Pay For Doggy School By Skipping a Couple Nights of Drinking

Turner and Hooch
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In the United States, one year of public high school costs, on average, around $4,000. That's $16,000 just to make sure your kid receives enough of an education about geography and geometry to be considered an upstanding citizen and eventually get a mediocre job. 

And that's not taking into consideration that you'll probably be weaseled into paying for a portion of their university years, too.

On the other hand, sending your puppy through a doggy obedience program will cost a couple hundred dollars. And then he'll know not to bite other dogs or pee on humans. And that's all he needs to know. Forever.

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Jacob is a part-time contributor for WhatCulture, specializing in music, movies, and really, really dumb humor.