10 Revelations That Will Make You See Iconic Screen Superheroes Very Differently

6. Duck Penises Have More Twists Than A Shyamalan Movie

Howard Duck is a giant talking duck from another dimension who knows a martial art called Quack Fu, which apparently requires the lack of any actual skill and which looks suspiciously like what a regular Earth duck attacking a human would look like. All the citizens of Ohio must be used to seeing some pretty strange stuff, because many assume Howard is wearing a costume and very few of them barely even flinch when he begins to speak - apparently this is all the status quo in Cleveland, but his duck penis is definitely not. Howard is walking around with a monstrosity of a male member that is most likely longer than his whole body and corkscrews up like a mighty rollercoaster. Plus it has spikes, which likely makes masturbation as unpleasant an experience as it could ever conceivably be. In nature, this is not so much of a problem, as the duck vagina has evolved into a labyrinth for duck penises, which is basically the exact opposite of what you would think it should be doing, but it's to prevent rape, which is clearly a good thing. Having this knowledge kind of puts a new spin on the scene with Beverly when they joke about having sex. Once the prospect of sex becomes real, Howard suddenly becomes very nervous and quickly pretends like he wants to go to sleep, which is precisely because Howard knows his corkscrew penis would annihilate what he can only assume is not a compatible human female vagina. Beverly has no idea how close she came to her demise.