6. Christmas Puddings Make The Sun Jealous
And its not because theyre laced with brandy and the Sun is a recovering alcoholic. No! The real reason is a lot more sinister and trivial than that! Its fairly common knowledge that the Christmas period lies smack-bang, near-enough close to the Winter Equinox. A time when, throughout history, humans have looked around, taken a head count of their family and thanked whatever numinous being(s) for getting them through half the winter without losing Grandad or little Timmy. From here on in, its all downhill to spring! But, humans being humans, it wouldnt hurt to give the sun a little nudge in the right direction. You know, to start the show a little early this year. But how to do it? Genetically modified crops were a long way off and Punxsutawney Phils Great, Great, Great Grandfather wasnt even a glint in his Great, Great, Gre ... It was a while ago. So the inhabitants of our Celtic isle decided to light fires down on earth so as to show the Sun that he really wasnt all that to which hed get all jealous and come out a little early to show that those piddly little candles couldnt hold themselves to his majesty! So on Christmas day, when somebodys tentatively walking through a pitch-black dining room with only the blue flickering light of burning alcohol to guide them, think kindly back to your ancestors and give a chuckle about cursing out the sun.