10 Strange Things You Never Knew About Christmas

6. Christmas Puddings Make The Sun Jealous

Christmas Pudding

And it€™s not because they€™re laced with brandy and the Sun is a recovering alcoholic. No! The real reason is a lot more sinister and trivial than that! It€™s fairly common knowledge that the Christmas period lies smack-bang, near-enough close to the Winter Equinox. A time when, throughout history, humans have looked around, taken a head count of their family and thanked whatever numinous being(s) for getting them through half the winter without losing Grandad or little Timmy. From here on in, it€™s all downhill to spring! But, humans being humans, it wouldn€™t hurt to give the sun a little nudge in the right direction. You know, to start the show a little early this year. But how to do it? Genetically modified crops were a long way off and Punxsutawney Phil€™s Great, Great, Great Grandfather wasn€™t even a glint in his Great, Great, Gre ... It was a while ago. So the inhabitants of our Celtic isle decided to light fires down on earth so as to show the Sun that he really €˜wasn€™t all that€™ to which he€™d get all jealous and come out a little early to show that those piddly little candles couldn€™t hold themselves to his majesty! So on Christmas day, when somebody€™s tentatively walking through a pitch-black dining room with only the blue flickering light of burning alcohol to guide them, think kindly back to your ancestors and give a chuckle about cursing out the sun.
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com