10 Stupid Things to Do Before You Die

9.Make Yourself Physically Sick From Eating Too Many Sweets.

Now, if you€™re under the age of 15 this isn€™t so much stupid as an inevitable rite of passage. If you€™re over 18 and you€™ve never done this then the likelihood of doing it by accident dwindles daily, so you€™re going to have to give fate a little nudge in the right direction if you€™re to pass this milestone. The reason you should do this? Well, there are a number of them, really. To grow into an understanding parent by being able to spot the €˜vomit-inducing€™ limit of sweets from experience. To understand the nature of €˜too much of a good thing€™ first-hand and be able to nod knowingly whenever anybody mentions the blasted saying in future. And of course, to do something that nobody would expect of an adult. Sure people expect you two have €˜too much of a good thing€™ if that €˜thing€™ is Sambuca! But that€™s boring! Everybody€™s done that and, strangely enough, your body is likely to accept more dangerous levels of alcohol than Haribo before jettisoning it back out. Stupid is one thing, survival is something else entirely.
 
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com