10 Stupid Things to Do Before You Die

6. Ask a Chip Shop to Deep Fry Something Ridiculous!

Now, if you€™re a reader from the UK then you€™re more likely to find facilities to aid you in your stupidity in this respect. However, don€™t worry if you€™re not from our fair isle, a simple batter and deep fat fryer is all you€™ll need. If you€™re following this list to the €˜T€™ or even if you€™re dipping in and fancy this one above the others, then Scotland is your Mecca for #6. If you were to go into any Chip Shop in Scotland and ask them if they could deep fry your umbrella, they€™d recommend you eat it with cabbage and call you a Jessie for owning one in the first place. Deep fried Mars Bars, Pizza and even ice-cream are not unheard of in the northern frontiers and this is why deep frying something ridiculous is a €˜must€™ before you die. Much akin to #9 there€™s something wonderful about a brief moment of excess. Putting two seemingly excellent things €“ let€™s say, chocolate and deep fried food €“ together in the same €“ let€™s say €˜snack€™ €“ and realising that you€™re eating more calories than a rhinoceros should consume during a lengthy shuffle with the resulting sickly feeling that can only come from your bodily pores actually oozing oil. To sit there and sweat grease is the nutritional equivalent of purgatory after a life of sin! Sometimes, it just might be worth it!
 
Posted On: 
Contributor
Contributor

A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com