10 Things Not To Do On The Underground

1. Don€™t Drop Your Suitcase On An Escalator

Another escalator related no-no on the underground that can cause all manner of chaos is the release of unsecured luggage onto an upwardly mobile escalator. Should a hand lose its grip on heavy baggage, the series of following events take place. Someone is guaranteed to shout €œWoah!€ or €œHey!€ or perhaps even €œOh dear me this is not going to end well for someone.€ Subsequently, the occurrence will take one of two forks in the road. Either some master in the speed of the Ninja will move with lighting swiftness to grapple the luggage into a brace position, thus stopping the moment dead. If such a Ninja fails to appear, the case will then bounce its merry way down the rising stairs, taking out everyone in its path like pins in a bowling alley. While the images of this can cause hilarity in the right hands €“ mainly those of Channel Four€™s comedy department €“ the end result is broken limbs, fractured skulls and splintered elbows. Also someone is likely to break a nail. Best to keep hold of your belongings at all times.
 
Posted On: 
Contributor
Contributor

Anthony Lund is a writer and puppet maker from Durham. He is the author of the Dickens parody, A Christmas Carol Retold, and also works as a Showbiz & Music news writer. His new novel, Grim Reaping, is out at the end of October. More information can be found at his website,