1. Send Him With Dennis Rodman To Hang Out With Kim Jong Un
It's pretty well known that Dennis Rodman likes to kick it with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He's been over there a couple times, probably shooting some hoops, eating at expensive restaurants, and filming, exclusively for North Korea, Double Team 2 starring himself and Kim. So the next time Rodman heads over there, why doesn't he take Justin Bieber with him? And leave him there. It might take some careful calculating but I've got a pretty rock solid plan. If we set up a sting operation, utilising Jean Claude Van Damme as our secret agent (who's upset about not being asked to return for Double Team 2) it may be possible to use Bieber to usurp Kim. His fame is powerful enough that I bet there are secret underground organisations in North Korea who are bootlegging his music like Russians kids did when the Beatles where hot. If Van Damme can infiltrate these organisations (yes, he's not North Korean but it's not as if an inability to act ever stopped him) he may be able to incite some sort of coup to overthrow Kim and start a revolution. When Kim is dethroned and the Country left leaderless, the revolution will inevitably elect their biggest idol. Bieber. Considering it's a country no one really even pays any mind to, we can just let him run it into the ground until South Korea takes it back. In the long run, that's actually a lot better for the global economy. Alright everyone, what do you think? You're the judge, this is your courtroom, what sort of comical punishment would you dish out to the Biebs? Comments below kids!
Actor, writer, filmmaker, stand up comic, jack of all trades...hopefully master of some. Living the dream, whatever that is, in LA while always sitting in traffic. He's also the co-creator of the comedy group NSFYM (Not Safe For Your Mom). facebook.com/nsfym
